{"id":7878,"date":"2024-11-14T09:12:55","date_gmt":"2024-11-14T09:12:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/finderica.com\/im-74-and-my-24-year-old-boyfriend-is-awful-with-money\/"},"modified":"2024-11-14T09:12:55","modified_gmt":"2024-11-14T09:12:55","slug":"im-74-and-my-24-year-old-boyfriend-is-awful-with-money","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/finderica.com\/?p=7878","title":{"rendered":"I’m 74 and My 24-Year-Old Boyfriend Is Awful With Money"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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\"ScoreCard<\/p>\n

Dear Penny,<\/span><\/p>\n

I am 74 and have fallen for a 24-year-old. He says he wants to get married, but he has only the house he inherited.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I\u2019m self-employed but have only a meager income. It makes me uneasy that I have to pay for everything. He may be able to work eventually, but for now all he finds are part-time jobs. Should I break off this relationship due to poor finances?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

-Too Much in Love<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Dear In Love,<\/p>\n

I\u2019m going to attempt the impossible, which is to put aside this glaring age difference for a minute.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what I would have told you if you hadn\u2019t mentioned your ages: You\u2019re pulling all the weight here, and you don\u2019t feel good about it. Your boyfriend doesn\u2019t sound very responsible. Nine times out of 10, when someone writes to me, a stranger, to ask whether they should end their relationship, the answer is: \u201cYes! End this relationship.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now, let\u2019s talk about this gaping age discrepancy. There\u2019s no way I can make myself not worry that your boyfriend is taking advantage of your generosity here. Yes, plenty of people fall in love with someone way older or younger than they\u2019d ever imagined. So I don\u2019t want to make any sweeping generalizations about what constitutes too young for someone of 74.<\/p>\n

But I think an age difference becomes too much when you\u2019re in vastly different places in life. Even if you\u2019re both in love with perfectly pure intentions, surely this is one of those times.<\/p>\n

Aside from the fact that he\u2019s dating a 74-year-old, your boyfriend doesn\u2019t sound that unusual for someone who\u2019s only 24. Most twentysomethings haven\u2019t acquired much in the way of assets. It\u2019s not unusual for someone this age to have a string of part-time jobs and side hustles instead of a career.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, you\u2019re 74 and don\u2019t have much income, which certainly isn\u2019t unusual for someone who\u2019s retirement age. You deserve to retire at some point. I\u2019m afraid you can\u2019t afford to wait for your boyfriend. You say he may \u201ceventually\u201d be able to work. Somehow, I think \u201ceventually\u201d will happen a lot faster when he has no choice but to pay his own bills.<\/p>\n

You say you\u2019re paying for everything, so I\u2019ll assume he\u2019s living in your home. Since you say he inherited a house, hopefully he can move in there and you can make a clean break.<\/p>\n

Whenever you end a relationship, you need to act quickly to unmingle your finances. That includes closing any joint bank accounts and removing your boyfriend if he\u2019s an authorized user on any of your credit accounts. If you\u2019ve listed him as a beneficiary on a retirement account or life insurance policy, or included him in your will, be sure to remove him as well.<\/p>\n

And yet, untangling the heart can be even more complicated than separating your money. There\u2019s nothing I can say to make that part easier.<\/p>\n

Just know that it\u2019s not too late for you to fall in love all over again. But make sure that anyone you\u2019d consider dating in the future is at a similar place in life as you are. That doesn\u2019t mean you need to be the same age. But that person needs to be a mature and independent adult, not someone who mooches off you. Anyone who\u2019s not willing to be your equal partner doesn\u2019t deserve your time.<\/p>\n

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Check it out here!<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Editor\u2019s note: Dear Penny is on vacation this week. This column was originally published July 21, 2021.<\/i><\/p>\n

Robin Hartill is a certified financial planner and a senior writer at The SS. Send your tricky money questions to <\/i>[email\u00a0protected]<\/span><\/i>.<\/i><\/p>\n

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