{"id":18501,"date":"2025-07-23T23:34:20","date_gmt":"2025-07-23T23:34:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/finderica.com\/?p=18501"},"modified":"2025-07-23T23:34:20","modified_gmt":"2025-07-23T23:34:20","slug":"is-my-brother-handling-my-moms-estate-fairly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/finderica.com\/?p=18501","title":{"rendered":"Is My Brother Handling My Mom\u2019s Estate Fairly?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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\"ScoreCard<\/p>\n

Dear Penny,<\/span><\/p>\n

My mother passed away five years ago. My brother and I were to each have 50% of her estate. I am the oldest. Her estate included her house, my grandmother\u2019s house and a couple of life insurance policies. There was a hearing that I didn\u2019t realize was important because I thought it was just verifying the equal 50\/50 division. I didn\u2019t realize that the hearing also made my brother the executor of the estate, which I guess makes him the one who can distribute everything.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have not seen any receipts or paperwork on anything. He says the money from my grandma\u2019s house went to cover a new roof and other repairs on my mom\u2019s house. The bottom line is he has gotten $95,000 and I have gotten only $45,000. This isn\u2019t fair. What should I do now \u2014 choke it down or do I have any recourse?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014 Half an Heir<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Dear Half,<\/p>\n

You\u2019re correct that being the executor of the estate means your brother is responsible for distributing your mother\u2019s assets. It also means he\u2019s responsible for carrying out any other wishes laid out in a will, and closing out legal and financial affairs, like paying off debts, closing accounts and filing final tax returns.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorry for your confusion with the hearing. These processes are overly complex, and our legal and financial systems aren\u2019t good at guiding people through them. Your question requires a legal expert much more than a financial expert, so I asked a few attorneys for their take. (None of this constitutes individualized legal advice, and you\u2019ll need to consult an attorney in your state to learn more about your situation.)<\/p>\n

\u201cWe see many families that have an \u2018understanding\u2019 of how things are to be distributed upon a loved one\u2019s passing,\u201d said Kimberly A. Hegwood, Owner & Managing Attorney at Your Legacy Legal Care, \u201cbut if the estate planning documents are drafted a different way, then typically the legal documents will control the distributions.\u201d<\/p>\n

In the case of the insurance policies, your mother would have had to list beneficiaries when she signed up for the policy, so those should say explicitly how the payments will be distributed. If you\u2019re listed as a beneficiary and haven\u2019t received your share of those benefits, contact the insurance provider first to determine why, and consult an attorney to figure out your legal recourse if that doesn\u2019t help.<\/p>\n

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For the other assets, if there was a will, the executor has to carry out its wishes and can\u2019t withhold any inheritance you\u2019re due. However, it sounds like your mother might not have left a will spelling out how those should be distributed. In that case, the executor can choose how to distribute assets, but many attorneys I asked mentioned there\u2019s often an assumption of an equal split unless your brother has reason to believe your mother wanted otherwise. Your brother is responsible for carrying out your mother\u2019s wishes, so you\u2019ll have stronger recourse if you have written or recorded evidence that she wanted a 50\/50 split, even if it wasn\u2019t in a will.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s no guarantee, though. Travis Christiansen, Attorney at Boyack Christiansen Legal Solution, warned, \u201cYou can challenge it, but this may cost you more time and money and a relationship that you aren\u2019t willing to lose.\u201d<\/p>\n

Before bringing a legal challenge, Benjamin Inman, Attorney at Inman Law, said, \u201cI look for innocent explanations and attempt to disprove them before jumping to the conclusion that someone is stealing money.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s common for an executor to be compensated for the work it takes to manage the estate, which could be why your brother has a larger portion of the estate. You could have a conversation with him to agree on a fair amount for that compensation.<\/p>\n

If you want to consult an attorney, you can find someone based on your available resources through nonprofit legal aid organizations, online directories like Justia, or local bar associations in your city or state. Opening a case might at least force your brother to provide receipts for how he\u2019s used the money from the inheritance, so you know exactly what\u2019s gone into his pocket and what\u2019s gone toward other expenses.<\/p>\n

Christiansen added, \u201cThe attorney may also be able to act like a mediator to assist with a difficult conversation with your sibling without going to court, but you should be prepared that court might be the only way to resolve it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dana Miranda is a Certified Educator in Personal Finance\u00ae, author, speaker and personal finance journalist. She writes <\/i>Healthy Rich<\/i><\/a>, a newsletter about how capitalism impacts the ways we think, teach and talk about money.<\/i><\/p>\n

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